the end, the begining,

I`ve just finished a 12 days retreat in the Jungle, Iqitos, Peru. I stayed at The Hummingbird Centre and took Ayahuasca every second evening. Ayahuasca is a very stong plant medicine from the Amazon rainforest. It is one of the most potent catalysts for expanded awareness known to man. Ayahuasca is actually a combination of two plants which work together to create a very powerful effect. There can be a variation in the plant species used, but the alkaloids are always consistent. That is, beta-carboline (harmine and harmaline) often from Banisteriopsis caapi vine, and tryptamine alkaloids (DMT) commonly from psychotria viridis leaves. Neither substance is normally psychoactive in oral does by itself. DMT is not orally active unless combined with a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MOI). This is what makes ayahuasca effective: The harmine alkaloids in Banisteriopsis caapi vine are potent short term MAO inhibitors which synergize with the psychotria viridis leaves...producing a profound psychedelic experience. Its amazing that this combination was discovered by indigenous persons many many years ago. Some speculate that it was by trial and error, but this seems statistically very unlikely. Its more likely that the plant spirits communicated with man; a divine discovery.

My experience was incredible. A friend used a great analogy: That Ayahuasca is a tool, like a microscope that helps you see what is already there. Some of the intense experiences i had whilst using this plant i have also experienced during meditation, so i wont accept that my experience was in some way "not real". What i learnt was that EVERYTHING is alive. Using this plant medicine allowed me to commune with the spirit of the plants and i was taught an incredible amount about life and about myself. I saw in great detail the workings of my mind, and discoverd who i really am. I had "out of body experiences", visions and intense energetic sensations. One could say it is a way of communicating and getting in touch with the unconcious. It aids a reconnection, a tapping into cosmic knowledge. Its a wonderful, and at times terrible, experience. It is called "medicine" for a reason. It is by no means always a comfortable process. I endured a great deal of purging as energies and ´demons´ trapped in my body began to surface (through tears, vomit, shaking, shivering, intense emotional release). It`s a theraputic process: it caused all issues to surface, allowing me to work through difficult memories and feelings, to peel away all of the blinders i had put upon myself. Ultimatly i had to let go, stop hanging on to anything, stop holding...but keep breathing! My breathe was my rope: a bridge between worlds. It was really important to trust and surrender to the process, not resisting it (which people can easily do as it brings up alot of deep rooted fears!) At the end of this deep process i feel so much clearer, lighter, and a sense of clarity has blessed me as i now truly know myself. I was working with two very skilled and awesome Shaman: Adella and Jose, Mother and son. I felt hounered to be working with them. They held the space, worked to protect us and heal us (very talented at working with energies and potentially dangerous spirits/energies that could interfere with the ceremonie). The whole process has been life enriching. You know, i think anyone reading this should go and do it. Seriously, do it. Go and see what you can see, you will likely by amazed. I dare you!

I left the jungle this morning, and after a 1.5 hour plane ride here i am in Lima, a busy city again. Tommorow I fly back to the UK. I leave with the knowledge that i have carried out all of my intentions to meet myself, to meet my loneliness, to survive and to have a dam good adventure! I leave with awesome insights, friendships and memories that have touched my soul deeply. I am ready for the next chapter, im at the end of the red carpet and ready to fly...

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spirits having a human experience"